Grief in the Body: How Somatic Therapy Helps Heal Loss
Grief can be one of the most overwhelming human experiences, and it often makes itself known in the body before we begin to cry. You might notice your chest tightening, your shoulders hunching, or a sudden heaviness that lingers for days. Sometimes it shows up as irritation, numbness, or sheer exhaustion. Beneath it all, there can be a quiet truth:
I just cannot do life right now.
As a somatic psychotherapist, I see grief not as something to “get over” but as a form of somatic signalling; the body’s way of asking for care and attention.
A Story of Slowing Down
One client, in the early days of bereavement, came to the session barely able to speak. She was drained, resentful, and numb. A familiar family pattern had resurfaced: she was expected to hold everything together, look after others, and set her own needs aside. Her grief was being overshadowed by the unspoken rule that her mother’s sorrow should come first.
Instead of pushing her to “open up” or “move on”, I invited her to notice the collapse in her body and get curious about it. No fixing. No rushing. Just listening. She placed one hand where she felt the heaviness most strongly, and another where she felt the slightest hint of steadiness; her legs, her back, or even her breath.
After sitting quietly, she whispered one word: Simplicity.
Her body was not asking for action or achievement. It was asking her to slow down. She began spending gentle, unstructured time outdoors, noticing the cold air and the bare winter trees. She let the ground hold her weight. It was not about productivity, but about being supported by space, stillness, and something larger than the grief itself.
Why Grief Feels So Heavy
Grief is not just about losing someone or something; it is about the love and connection that loss represents. That is why it can feel so disorienting. Clients often tell me they feel as if they are moving underwater while the rest of the world rushes above them.
The nervous system can shift between states of high activation (restlessness, anxiety, irritability) and deep shutdown (heaviness, immobility, lack of motivation). Both are valid. Neither is a sign of weakness. Somatic therapy works with these states, helping you find small points of steadiness in the body so that the overwhelm does not have to take over entirely.
Old Wounds Resurfacing
Loss often reactivates earlier attachment wounds; the parts of us that learned our needs were less important than others’. In my client’s case, the grief of the present echoed a lifetime of being cast as the caretaker. This is why grief can trigger patterns like over-functioning, people-pleasing, or shutting down entirely.
By approaching grief somatically, we give the body a chance to express and release what words alone cannot.
A Simple Somatic Practice for Grief
Hand-to-Heart for Collapse and Support
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Sit or lie in a position that feels as comfortable as possible.
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Place one hand where you feel most shut down or heavy.
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Place the other hand where you feel most supported; perhaps your chest, your belly, your thighs, or the floor beneath you.
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With a soft, easy breath, hold both sensations at once: the pain and the support.
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Ask, without pressure: What does this part of me need?
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Whatever comes, a word, an image, a sensation, is enough.
Grief Is Love
Grief is proof that we have loved, and that life has mattered to us. It does not need to be tidy or linear. Some days you may feel strong; others you may feel unable to face the world. Both are normal.
Somatic grief work is not about “coping well” in the way others might expect. It is about listening to the body’s pace, finding permission to be messy and inconsistent, and allowing healing to happen in its own time.
In the end, grief is not a weakness but a reflection of connection.
We would not wish that away.
Listen to my podcast episode on grief and bereavement here
This article was originally featured on Redbeard Somatic Therapy and has been adapted for my website. You can find more of my published features and media appearances on my Press page.
About Shelley Treacher
Shelley Treacher is a UK-based somatic psychotherapist helping people bring compassion to the parts of themselves that feel messy, stuck, or hard to hold. With over 20 years of experience, she specialises in healing through embodiment, trauma-informed care, and therapeutic storytelling. Learn more here.