Managing Anxiety with the Body

Introduction

Anxiety can be so tough. It’s kind of like your mind and your body are working against each other. It feels like it’s working against you. If you’ve ever felt like anxiety came on really quickly and you didn’t really understand why, maybe you were getting symptoms like heart palpitations, shortness of breath, and turning to things that make you feel better, like comfort food. You’re not alone.

The good news is that there are some really simple ways that you can get out of this spiral. And I’m going to show you some of them here today in this video. I’m a therapist working with anxiety, lesser known addictions like comfort eating and relationships. I work specifically with sematic therapy which helps you to calm your nervous system down. What I found is that when you work with your body and you understand what’s going on there, anxiety becomes less of an enemy and you start treating it with more compassion, which really has the power to shift a lot. Anxiety isn’t just about overthinking.

How Anxiety Manifests

Our bodies go into a certain state when we’re anxious. It’s a mixture of fear and protection. Our bodies might get tighter. Our breathing might get shallower. Heart rate might get faster and jaw might get tight, voice might get tighter, and our face might go really blank.

Anxiety tricks us into thinking that we can’t cope with things and that things are worse than they actually are. For example, when I go cold water swimming, I nearly talk myself out of it every single time. And sometimes I have. On the drive there, I’m thinking things like, “I’m going to hate this. What am I doing to myself? It’s really cold outside.”

I’ll tell you how I get over it and manage to get in in a minute. But sometimes when I’m swimming, I’m thinking, I’m not going to make it to the other side. I better swing back. And sometimes I do shorten my swim. But this is the anxiety talking. It’s making me feel like the danger is bigger. You know what? Sometimes I’m even thinking that eels are going to eat me. There are eels in the lake, but they’re tiny. In my mind, they’re massive giant people eating eels. This is the anxiety making me feel like the danger is much bigger than it actually is and making me believe that I’m not going to cope.

Managing Anxiety in Practice

What I actually do when I get in the water, every step of the way, I’m remembering that I really get a huge amount out of cold water swimming. I’m trying to remember that. And then as I’m getting in, I’m taking my time. I’m not jumping in like I’ve seen people do and I feel sorry for them. I look at them and think, “Oh, you feel like you have to jump in quickly. It’s a bravado thing or an anxiety thing.” I take my time and I give myself compassion and kindness for doing that. And I control my breathing. I’m breathing really slowly, especially on the outbreath. And that gives me an enormous amount of satisfaction. And I can feel it calming my nervous system down to the point where I can get used to the water and enjoy my connection with nature, which I love.

The lessons here are that I can cope with much more than my anxiety would lead me to believe and that anxiety can be overridden. That protection mechanism can be overridden when it’s beneficial to do that.

Here I’m going to give you three ways that you can start to cope with anxiety. The first we’ve already mentioned, regulate your breathing. If you can slow your breathing down, it indicates to your body that you are now safe and your nervous system will kick into a different state, more relaxed state.

So try breathing more slowly and maybe slowly on your outbreath in particular because that’s when your heart rate slows down. You can also try doing things like humming or singing or saying ah as you breathe out.

The second thing is to name what’s underneath your anxiety to name your anxiety triggers. Underneath anxiety are often deeper issues like being afraid of being rejected, fear of abandonment, or just not feeling good enough. Like when I went swimming, I didn’t think I could make it to the other side. But I know that I can, and I know that I love to do that. This is the anxiety and the fear talking, you see. So, next time you have one of these anxious thoughts or feelings or experiences, ask yourself, “What am I really worried about? What’s the worst that I think could happen?” And then you can learn to spot that that’s probably underneath a lot of your anxieties and it might not be as scary as you think it is.

The third thing is to bring yourself compassion. Anxiety wants you to feel bad about yourself. That’s how it controls you into protecting you. But you don’t need that all the time. Sometimes it’s completely inappropriate. When I’m getting into the water, I’m remembering that I’m safe. There are lots of people around. The water’s shallow. There’s no current. There’s definitely no big electric eels. And I’ve done this so many times before. I know I’m okay. I’m physically fit. I love it. So, I’m being kind to myself by taking my time and allowing myself to calm myself down first and embrace it gently and slowly. This is compassion. Being kind to yourself isn’t weakness. It’s what allows you to stay strong and move through the fear.

So, you see, anxiety is not your enemy. It’s a protective force that sometimes overreacts. With things like breathing, curiosity, and compassion, and maybe a touch of humour, you can start to calm your body down and move through your fears differently. The real shift often comes through letting feelings move through you through breath, movement, making a sound, or doing something with another person that you trust instead of looping it through your head over and over and over.

Practice Exercise

So, let’s just take 20 seconds to do something together. Start by placing a hand on your chest and breathing slowly.
Breathe in through your nose and breathe out more slowly through your mouth.
Keep going, making your breath just that little bit slower.
If you’d like, you can breathe out with a hum sound or an R sound.
Mmmmmmm
Aaaaaaaaaaah
and notice how you feel afterwards.

Reflection & Next Steps

If this video helped you, I would love to hear from you in the comments. If you’re not sure what to say, try this question: How does anxiety show up for you?

You might also enjoy my playlist on anxiety and self-regulation, regulation of the nervous system. And if you need more than that, you’ll also find my resources listed in the description below. Thank you so much for watching.